I want to be like my Aunt Mary - A Niece's Perspective

My Aunt passed away this past week.  This would be my dad's sister, Mary Milite Newman.  She was the eldest of the three kids.

 My Grandpa, Mary and Uncle Bob in New Lebanon, NY

 

She was a flight attendant back in the "Pan Am" days when you had to be beautiful and she was beautiful.

 Mary Milite in her flight attendant uniform

She and my Uncle Randy lived in Lafayette, LA as did my grandparents.  After my grandfather died, we'd go out there every few weeks to make sure my grandmother was doing okay.  My sister and I spent a few summers out there as well.  We were supposed to be staying with grandma but we always ended up at Mary's.

In retrospect, I felt kind of bad for her.  Every summer, she got stuck taking care of her two nieces, one of whom was an awkward bookworm of a girl.  My sister and my cousin Margo were about a year apart so they always played together.  I played with the daughters of my Aunt's friends.  Lots of memories there. 

When I wasn't playing, I was babysitting.  My youngest cousin, Randy, was everywhere.   My Aunt was always yelling at him.  "Randy!" she would yell.  "Now where did he go.  Angela, honey, will you find him?"  Off I'd go.  He was usually playing in a clothes rack or something.  Occasionally, he'd be in the next store. 

The summer that the movie "Grease" came out, I bought the soundtrack.  Mary had to listen to that album over and over and over and over (you get the idea).  How she retained her sanity that summer, I'll never know.  All us girls would re-enact the dance scene at the end of the movie.  We would all switch roles and Mary watched every performance.  I'm really glad there was no video camera in that house!  

My Aunt was bigger than life.  I think she was about 5'6" or so.  She seemed very tall to me.  She wore a size nine shoe and told me I got my big feet (I wear an 8) from her.  She never treated me like a little kid.  When she sent me birthday gifts they were always cool things.  Most of the time I got books - whatever was the on the best seller list.  I remember one year she sent me a gold belt.  It was one of those belts you would wear outside your shirt around your waist.  I had that thing forever.

Mary was always moving.  I can't ever recall a time when she was just sitting and relaxing.  She was almost always on the phone.  My dad would tease her and say she was "transmit only".  It was all good natured though.  I know he loved her very much.

My Aunt Mary on the phone at my grandmother's house

When my parents split up in the late '80's, we didn't see that side of the family very often.  When my sister got married in 1995, Mary & Randy came.  

My husband and I got married in 2000.  Mary & Randy were going to come but then Mary was hospitalized with heart related issues and they couldn't make it.  

Then in 2003, my cousin got married.  My husband and I couldn't attend the wedding but we did attend a party afterward that was held in Lafayette in their honor.  I hadn't seen my aunt since 1995.  Mary hugged me tight and then grabbed my arm.  "Don't go anywhere!  I want to visit," she said.  She pulled me along with her as she flitted around the room.  There was always a line of people that wanted to visit with her.  She finally let me go when there was a conga line that started up.  Well, I don't know that it was a conga line but it was something like that.  "Come on!" she said and grabbed my hand to join in.  We never did get a chance to visit.

At Margo's party in 2003.  Mary is third in line and I'm fifth.

A year later my grandmother died.  We all met back in Lafayette for the funeral.  Mary would have been about 70 then and she looked better than my dad who was 10 years younger! 

Bob, Chuckie, Mary and Ray (my dad) 2004

It was so great to see everyone.  It was too bad that it took my grandmother's funeral to bring us together.  We had a chance to all of us be together (with the exception of Randy (Margo's brother), Mike (Dean's brother) and Juan Carlos (Margo's husband)) that Friday evening before the service at Jerry Olivier's house and it was great.  When we left after the service, of course we all said we'd keep in touch.

 All of us 2004

In 2010, my father passed away.  By then, my Aunt was failing a little.  She wasn't her vivacious self.  She needed help walking and she had a speech impediment.  She had to speak very slowly and very low.  You could see how much it frustrated her.   She still had her beautiful smile and she still looked the same! 

When I got the call last week that Aunt Mary had passed away, it made me sad.  At the service, her friends came in droves.  There were testimonials about what an amazing person she was.  It was like everyone she met was a long lost friend.  We all went along for the ride.

When my sister and I started drinking wine, my dad would say, "You just want to be like your Aunt Mary!"  The implication was that we really didn't like the wine.  But I say, "Yes.  I want to be like my Aunt Mary".

Me and my Aunt Mary in 1968